'Black And White Marriage Essay\r'

'Barbara Stanton has been my friends for fifteen historic period. You might say that she is my top hat friend. We’ve dated and double-dated, save non once did we ever so date external our receive operate. About a year ago, Barbara came to me announcing that she was acquiring married to her boyfriend capital of Minnesota. I hadn’t seen her for a while because we some(prenominal) began to ascend in varied directions and I’m shamed to admit that we didn’t even keep in touch to convey a deep conversation. besides some hello’s and goodbyes.\r\nWhen she c entirely(a)ed to tell me she was getting married, once again she omitted something that may have seemed inconsequential to her, but quite significant to her family and friends. She was marrying a ghastly earth. Maybe it’s not so crazy, but in the past some geezerhood we’ve seen practically than pitch minaciousness and egg unobjectionable couples than ever before. Maybe it’s because children of to twenty-four hours’s world don’t even see color, or maybe it’s because of the rappers and hip hop entertainers that we somehow have as role models. Who k right aways?\r\nAll that is certain is that where at ane time this was totally unacceptable, instantly it is gaining more and more popularity. On a luncheon that we had with a few friends a few weeks before the espousals, the trouble of race was brought up. Barbara had all the statistics. She argued that although race has often been contentious in children’s literature, from controversies over Twain’s Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, to Bannerman’s Little Black Sambo, to Keats’s The Snowy Day, to Herron’s Nappy Hair. How race is portrayed and who portrays it have been of import for some critics.\r\n( Sands-O’Connor, K atomic number 18n â€Å"Why Are People un akin? ) She related to to us about some of the history of racism , and we had to admit that it seemed rather ridiculous the fashion the concourse of old handled it. In the 6teen hundreds, for example, Maryland criminalise interracial coupling because it wasn’t sure if the proceeds of the black slave and white person would be considered a free person or a piece of property. Barbara knew a lot about black history. She told us that many another(prenominal) blacks had white ancestry and who atomic number 18 we, the smug whites, as she called us, to not see this.\r\nShe permit us know in no diffident terms that there were so many white slave ‘owners’ that took advantage of their female slaves that there was an copiousness of mixed children born throughout those years. It is estimated that as many as seventy percent of African Americans atomic number 18 descendants of interracial coupling. These include Booker T. Washington, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, jr. and Frederick Douglass. Each unrivalled of these menti whizd be of black and white ancestry, including her set aparted. Denise, one of Barbara’s cousins brought up the fact that it meet wasn’t common for blacks and whites to marry because of the long-term effects.\r\n hardly Barbara had the numbers right there in motility of her. She told us that according to the Census Bureau, the number of mixed-race marriages rosebush from three hundred thousand in 1970 to one point two million in 1990. surrounded by 1960 and 1990, the percentage of African American marriages involving a white spouse more than tripled. She wasn’t alone. Barbara looked at the six of us. â€Å"Of course we realize that we are of different ethnic backgrounds, but we are in love and intend to be married and really don’t care who objects. That is, of course, except the parents and relatives. Somehow, we unceasingly care what family says.\r\nBut, what is enkindle about America and it’s occupants is that even though people define thei r deliberations of interracial marriage in terms of â€Å"culture,” what really bothers them is race. We laughed as she told us that they didn’t tell the family that there was a difference in ethnic background. They just dedicate tongue to, ‘ shot who’s feeler to dinner? ’ and they walk in the door, totally ball over the pants off all in the room. Her family, of course, pretended to be polite and welcoming until the couple left. Then, Barbara said she could imagine her mother’s hand expiration to the heart and the drama began.\r\nThis, of course, is with both families, black and white. Barbara and capital of Minnesota are sure that all through the causa there entrust be innuendos right into the wedding day. Paul, in consoling Barbara as the big day approached, told her that friends of his that married interracially had similar problems. Some families give in and actually convince themselves that this is okay. Others really are okay wi th it and ease others completely betray their own feelings. Their family did consent and did seem pleased. However, Barbara really didn’t exigency to know if these were feelings for show or not.\r\nShe admitted that they had to face many closings before the big day, such(prenominal) as the way they’ve handled difference of opinions thus far-off and religious elevation of the children. They needed to voice whether they were departing to compromise on some of these issues and to the highest degree importantly, how they see the role of preserve and wife in this marriage of difference. In my opinion, like all marriages, things can lead to disaster or they can be worked on effortlessly, and Barbara and Paul firmly examined their path well before they made the decision to wed.\r\nTraditionally, African-American weddings include vivid colors, elaborate costumes and meaningful rituals. Whereas the white wedding embraces a more bubble crush dress. White bridal gown and pastels unremarkably are chosen for the bride and the maids. The men are normally in black or white tuxedos depending on the time of day the wedding takes place, whereas the black square away sometime chooses a costume designed to the customs duty of his people. Ironically, in order to avoid all of this, Barbara has chosen to have a civil ceremony in the chapel at city abode and a small dinner at one of the body politic’s best restaurants.\r\nAll decisions regarding custom have therefore been eliminated. The night before the wedding, they had a talk with both parents. The question of the future was brought up and the continuous changes the human life goes through. They ask the couple how they are going to feel ten to twenty years down the road about this relationship and the way out of this relationship. They do understand that everyone changes their ideas and opinions and although today they agree on most things, life is funny when it wants to throw bones.\r\nIf a couple of the selfsame(prenominal) race marries, when each one goes through changes, it is not going to be related to race. This is a big deal. There will be racial slurs on both sides of the family and friends sharing opinions. They will eventually have to deal with school and the black and white mom and dad. The family that evening pointed out that as sad as it is, the child will invariably be looked upon as ‘different’ because of his or her genetics. However, this was something Barbara and Paul did not agree on.\r\nThey pointed out that in today’s world, unlike when their parents were growing up, the rivalry surrounded by races isn’t as potent. They agreed that some whites looked upon themselves as superior to blacks and in reality there would always be some type of racial issue as long as we have a democracy. It’s just different opinions. These things have a way of working themselves out and as for their children, they will know as soon as they know the difference in mom and dad that they are mixed. Growing up with it is certainly not the same as light uponing out spontaneously when their elderly.\r\nSince that’s impossible, the race issue may be stubborn with the age of reason. The next morning, the wedding went off as scheduled. The whites in the chapel at city hall were noticing the difference in the people across the isle and the blacks were noticing the same things. But, they smiled at one another in a friendly gesture of approval. But, Barbara and her new keep up knew that you couldn’t take the hand-me-down prejudices out of the older people in the chapel and they knew that there would be difficulties and differences from the get-go.\r\nHowever, they felt this would be a long measure relationship and they were not willing to give up their future for the likes of racial interference. At the words, ‘I now pronounce you man and wife’, the unit of measurement family changed. insta ntly there is a white girl in our family…. says one. Now there is a black man in our family…. says the other. Life has changed for them all. It’s been five years and the marriage is still going strong. I visited them and their tally boys, two years old who have brought the whole family together and they are loved to pieces by both sides.\r\nThe children are mixed, but they have the blue eyeball of the mother and the full lips of the father. Their color is the color of coffee bean with milk in it and their hair is a premix of straight and curly. Perfect. They happen to be absolutely the most beautiful children imaginable. And they know it. There is so much love in that family that no one would guess there is a racial difference. Now, the families admit that they still see color, but only on the outside of the family. They see no color within. As far as the parents go, both couples realized they have a fondness for salamander, hence the Thursday night poker clu b.\r\nIn conclusion, we see that today, there are few communities with any claim to being racially unpolluted; in modern society there has been a considerable amount of intermarriages which has blurred any such distinctions even further. (Pinsent, Pat: Race and Ethnic identicalness pg. 91) So, are we going to get caught with our pants down if we don’t start building our terra firma with the knowledge that all men are therefore created equal? No one actually takes a look-see inside the obviously different race to find out that we are not so different after all. Our wishes and hopes are exactly the same.\r\nOur love for our children is free on both sides and our country is important to us all. How than, for a matter of a color, can we be so negative toward one another? I believe it is simply a fact collector. bring forth the facts on the person. Compare those facts with your own and voila’ we’re all God’s creatures. Barbara and Paul taught us all a les son. The readers of this essay may have racial differences as well. If so, maybe we should stop and smell the roses and if not………how did they smell? CITATIONS BOOKS Sands-O’Connor, Karen †â€Å"Why Are People various? ” Pinsent, Pat: Race and Ethnic Identity pg. 91\r\n'